For every book we release, we'll feature an interview with one of its major characters. This person may or may not be the main character; in the case of The Cosmic Turkey, it is not. We interviewed Pietro, who's not only Venusian and a popular blogger but also the infamous ex-boyfriend of the main character, Janet. Let's see what Pietro had to say.
How did you first meet Janet?
That was back in high school, after I transferred from Venus. Our class went on a field trip to the Green Cheese Museum on the moon. No one had warned the space-bus driver about Janet’s, shall we say, problematic relationship with technology.
Right after we left Earth’s atmosphere, the controls for the windshield wipers somehow got crossed with the steering, and the bus started lurching back and forth. Janet and I were literally thrown into each other’s arms. It was love at first sight.
How do you feel about Janet?
Let me just back up and clarify something that I said there. Obviously I meant that I thought it was love at first sight. Janet and I are totally wrong for each other.
She’s cute in an Earthling sort of way, and you have to admire her way of facing a ridiculous situation and improvising her way through it. Did you see her in that curling match when the Plutonians were cheating? She was amazing.
But she spreads disaster like a black hole crashing into a supernova. I don’t know why my blog readers keep asking if we’re getting back together.
What is your life philosophy?
Always be so far ahead of trends that it looks like you’re behind. Those who matter will know the difference.
Also, driving under the influence of telepathic devices should be an automatic life sentence.
If you were captain of the Turkey, what would you do differently?
First of all, that would never happen. Janet only got drafted into that job because she was arrested.
But if I were somehow in her position, I’d get the security officer to do something about that kleptomaniac pilot, send the first officer to anger management, and give Zeeko an actual job function. The one good move Janet made was getting her brother to sign on as the engineer.
Also, they should replace those horrible uniforms with one of Richena Rossi’s designs. How many different species were on the committee that designed those monstrosities?
Are there any misconceptions you’d like to correct about yourself?
One of the commenters on my blog — somebody calling himself “Dangerous Beau” — suggested that I resented Janet because she drew attention away from me. As if that dimmed my aura somehow. That’s just as ridiculous as the idea that I want her back. I’m much more mature than that.
Another of my readers drew some fan art of me wearing Neptunian water-dancing shoes. I mean, come on, those went out of style weeks ago. Which means I haven’t worn them in at least a year.
Ideally, what would you like to do next?
I’m hoping to grow my blog into something more substantial. The Galactic Times is looking for a new columnist, and I sent them one of my most popular pieces. It’s about my breakup with Janet at the zero-grav prom, after she caused the malfunction in the . . . haha, never mind, you’ll have to wait and read it.
Read all about Janet and crew's adventures here!