Our newest book, The Taskmaster by Katherine Vick, is out now! This epically hilarious fantasy adventure is the final book in the Plot Bandits series, which readers are calling “a rip-roaring underdog tale” and “the most fun a reader can have with getting their meta on.”
Need a bit more convincing to dive into the book/series? Then read our ten favorite quotes from The Taskmaster that we’ve compiled below!
1. “I say no to instructions that favour the few and grind down the many! I say no to the shackles of oppression they clamp on us every time they call us Ordinary! I say no to a society that denies talent by labelling who we are and what we will be before we are even born!”
2. Holding his head up in his cupped palms, Shoulders rolled his eyes and began muttering some random mumbo jumbo. “Oooohhhh! Hear me, restless spirit! I am the headless zombie sorcerer of . . . Bloodicoldtowerinaria . . . and I command you to speak!” Out of the corner of his rolling eyes, he saw Flirt staring at him like he’d drop-kicked a chicken, but there was a spark in Dullard’s eyes that suggested the prince at least had cottoned on to what he was doing. “Come forth from the nether-realm, spirit! Come forth in the name of . . . stuff . . . and mysterious things! Come forth and . . . ummm . . .”
3. “We need to get the Taskmaster’s attention, to get in touch somehow and make it understood that things need to be different. We don’t want to tear things apart, we just want to be listened to, and the only way we can think of to do that is to stop the Quest in its tracks. We’ve been trying and trying but The Narrative keeps finding a way to work around us. So perhaps we can’t do it. But maybe you can.”
4. They passed through a gargoyle-lined doorway that opened out into what could only be described as the seat of all evil. The hall was vast, towering to physically impossible heights, the columns, ceiling beams, and walls carved and painted with the familiar grotesque images of torture, maiming, blood-letting, and freakish creature-dom that were so standard to places of darkness. An enormous dais erupted at the head of the hall, and sprouting from it was a massive throne carved of shining jet, black as a starless night and twisted as though deformed, truly designed for the resting of the buttocks of purest villainy.
5. “I had no idea you were there,” Dullard offered, his expression pure innocence. “I saw neither hide nor hair of you watching me from the branches of that dead tree, or from under that leafless bush or even from behind that goat. You had me completely fooled.”
6. “You’re the good guys, aren’t you? Destroyers of vast hordes of evildoers, not sodden women dressed as barmaids standing up for their mates. What’s the matter? Don’t want my blood on your precious reputations?”
7. He battled desperately to clear his vision to get some glimpse of whose hands he was caught in now, at whose mercy he stood, friend or foe, friend or foe . . .
Of course it’s foe! We haven’t got any friends!
8. “A noble Knight, perhaps, would be your dream, a great Hero on horseback retrieving damsels in distress? But yet you possess no flowing locks, no eyes that beg for justice, tormented yet wondrous, tough and yet caring! All you have is that nose, and no nose should be at that kind of angle! You’re just a man! An unappealing, undistinctive, utterly unremarkable man! I ask you! I ask! How am I supposed to make beautiful, flowing heroic prose out of people like you?”
9. “You Disposables, you’re a family, aren’t you? All in it together? One for all and all for picking each other’s limbs up afterwards?”
10. “You tried fighting me with men and with magic! You’ve tried using stupid dragons and playing cruel tricks! You’ve even used the bloody weather! And you can’t stop me! Me, the little man, the nothing! I’m the rusty link in your precious chain and look how it’s breaking down! Have you noticed me now?” His face was as wild as his voice, his features creased with passion, his eyes burning madly. “Well, I’m coming for you!” he screamed out.
. . . Hooked yet? Grab a copy here to see how all these quotes are tied together!
The Taskmaster is perfect for fans of Terry Pratchett and Piers Anthony. The Plot Bandits series is available in paperback and e-book formats (DRM unlocked) on Amazon, and the books do need to be read in order—so start with The Disposable.
Check out our interview for The Taskmaster with author Katherine Vick here, a character interview with Prince Dullard and Princess Pleasance here, and our initial book review here. You can also read a longer sneak peek, a full scene from The Taskmaster, in Katherine's blog here.
Other articles in our Top 10 Quotes series:
The Blessed (Mythusian Empire #2)
The Disposable (Plot Bandits #1)
The Narrative (Plot Bandits #3)
The Cosmic Turkey
Skate the Thief (Rag and Bone Chronicles #1)
Skate the Seeker (Rag and Bone Chronicles #2)
Painter of the Dead
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